If I Could Have You Back

Preview:

Starfire flew to the roof, a pink backpack clutched at hand. She sighed sadly as she took one final glance at the door from which she appeared from. Robin didn't want her. She was a nuisance. Even the other Titans were annoyed of her. She felt unwanted as of lately. So she decided to leave and perhaps hope for the best.

She looked at the moon, sighed, and levitated off the ground. She took off to the city, searching for a new place to stay, then suddenly a thought struck her. She might be found easily... maybe it's better off if she went somewhere else. Perhaps a place where her friends do not know.

Robin looked at the door, where Starfire had once stood. He felt bad. He hated himself for yelling at her. He knew that the poor alien only wanted to help. He knew that she didn't want to talk to him. So he decided to talk to her once the morning came.

He turned off the lights. Hopefully she'll forgive me, he thought. But he was unaware of his best friend's departure at that very moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


We'll be friends forever, I promise. The voice of the boy wonder echoed in my empty void of a mind. It was an honest, promise, one I truly believed that could stand on its own. We had a great bond with one another. We were friends, a family, a team. Nothing could ever tear us apart, especially not criminals. Even if one of us were ever to betray, we'd welcome them back with open arms. In a nut shell, we needed each other more than anything. Individually we were weak, but together we were invincible. I learned it the hard way.

I stared at the large screen before me long and hard. My eyes glided over each digital picture, each memory I had with my team. We were happy together. I was happy at some point, probably the most happy and free I've ever been in my life.

My eyes paused on a certain image of her. She had a beautiful scarlet mane that reached down her mid back. She had orange skin that was soft to the touch despite her inhuman strength. She was taller than me by a couple inches the last time I saw her. The girl had a beautiful pair of sparkling emerald eyes that had captivated my gaze the first time I laid eyes on hers. She had a cute button nose, well rounded cheeks, and soft, addicting lips that hovered over her pearly white teeth. She was slouching over while her arms were around my waist. She was glowing, smiling at the camera with an innocence of a child. My arms were raised up in a surprising manner by her abrupt action, but I was smiling at her. This was one of the moments I was truly the most happiest in my life.

Starfire was someone I held dearly to my heat despite the times I constantly told myself to stay away from her. No matter how many times I had hurt her, pushed her away, she always welcomed me back. She helped me in my times of loneliness and need. She was the only person who came as close to know the real me—Richard John Grayson. Someone I swore to leave behind in Gotham City when I had moved to Jump City.

I gave her reasons to find someone better, but stubborn as she was, she wouldn't give in to it. Even when other handsomer men showed up in her life, I couldn't help but grow over protective of Starfire. I didn't want her to be with someone else. The thought of her with anyone aside me, broke my heart. That encouraged me to give in to my selfish wish. I only needed her to fulfill it. Before we knew it, we were kissing in the rain after defeating Daizo's humongous ink monster. That night, she became mine.

That was ages ago. My sweet, pure, innocent Starfire was gone along with the bond that held us together. The promise I made with her seemed to be life promising, and yet it was easily broken by my hands alone.

My eyes lingered on the single image on the screen as my thoughts wandered into a world that could have been present day, if only I hadn't been so obsessed to hunt down Slade. She had noticed it and tried to save me from myself, but I pushed her away as always. She always appeared at my door with a tray full of meals. I'd accept them gratefully times before, but I stopped at several weeks back, since it became a normal routine of my everyday life.

It took only one fight to notice her disappearance. I wonder what had been going through her head at that moment. Did I go too far? I must have. That would be the reason as to why she would suddenly leave us.

The memory was a tattoo burned inside my head, a constant reminder of my ignorant actions. There was not one day that I have not regretted the way I had treated her. The memory was still fresh and clear in my mind. It seemed as if it had happened yesterday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Flash Back~

The door slid open to reveal Starfire holding my meal of the evening. I didn't need to turn around to figure it out, for the off monitor reflected her figure from the door.

I had brushed her actions off as my usual routine of food. I was grateful for her thoughtfulness despite the times I had told her that she didn't have to do it.

"I want to be of use to you," she's always reply. There was no point of stopping her, stubborn as she was.

Something about Starfire was odd, but I couldn't exactly point out, for my mind was clouded with assumptions of Slade's whereabouts and future plans.

It was when she had her hands on my shoulders did I snap back into reality.

"What's wrong, Star?"

"Robin will you not take a break with me?" she plead.

"I can't," I responded immediately. "I need to know what Slade's up to. Who knows what he'll do if we don't bring him to justice."

"But Robin, he has not been active within the past months."

"It doesn't mean he stopped planning to destroy us once and for all," I snapped. "He'll strike when I put my guard down. I can't risk it. It's my responsibility to stop him."

Starfire was taken aback by his action. Her eyes appeared surprise, hurt, and sad. I instantly felt guilty for what I had done. She remained quiet, allowing the silence to overwhelm me uncomfortably.

I wanted her to say something. To chastise me about the ordeal we had solved once before. To drop her voice in a soft whisper that we could solve anything by working together.

What she had asked forever haunted me to this day.

The emotions in her eyes dissipated the moment she blinked and stared into my eyes. Her earlier emotions were replaced with an intense stare, the kind that made me feel as if she could see my eyes through my hidden mask, the kind that made me feel self-conscious of my well being. Her hands balled into tight fists at her sides. She took one step closer to me.

"Is your work more important to you than us?" she whispered softly.

I felt my body stiffen. My throat suddenly ran dry and my lips remained a firm, tight line. Her intense glare held me down in my frozen state like a predator cornering her prey. Her question was something I had not expected to hear from her.

She stood there, waiting for my response, and yet all I could do was stare back at her. It felt like hours before one of us moved.

Starfire turned away abruptly and walked out of my room, not before I saw them fill with tears.

At that instant, I found a way to move again. My right hand made its way to my forehead and slapped the exposed skin hard, followed by dragging it down my face. Hurting her was definitely the last thing I would ever do to Starfire. She didn't deserve to cry, especially not at my expenses.

I didn't chase after her like I usually did. I didn't have that courage to apologize to her, let alone see her at this state. I was too caught up with her question. It was a simple yes or no. I only had to tell her no, but I couldn't my voice. From years of experience, I knew that Starfire would accept the worst choice in tight situations such as this.

I stared at the door where she had exited moments ago then at the table full of papers of my obsessive research. Her question echoed in my head once more. Is your work more important to you than us? It almost seemed like she was challenging me to choose between her or the work before me.

My eyes glanced towards the door then back to the cluttered mess and back like a game of ping pong. I ended up choosing neither. Instead, I sat on my bed and fell on top of my pillow. I needed to sleep this stress away. I love Starfire, but I want to protect her as well as everyone else. I only wanted to keep them safe. With this in thought, I was able to finally find sleep. I would explain to her the following day.

Having to feel rejuvenated the following morning, I found myself leaving my room after weeks of committing my time with research. I headed to Starfire's room and knocked on the door. I waited patiently for her to unlock the door and talk to me. After a while, there came no response.

My thoughts formed two reasons as to why she did not answer the door: she was either asleep or she didn't want to talk to me. Either way I needed to talk this over with her. My impatience got to me and resulted into typing her overriding code.

To my horror, it was neither. Panicked, I searched for Starfire. My worst fear was confirmed later that day. Starfire was gone.

~End Flash Back~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In her absence, I desperately tried to keep the team together. I tried to keep our promise. But the future she had traveled long ago was unavoidable. The team had fallen apart. Whether it is fortunate or unfortunate, the reason for our break up was due to less criminal activity within the city.

Ever since the day we confirmed her disappearance, no one had blamed me although I deserved it. Even up to now, I still can't find it in my heart to ever forgive myself for pushing her away.

Damn it! I snarled as my first pounded the table in front of me. If only I didn't do that! If only I had just said yes when she asked me to take a break! If only I acknowledged the peculiar atmosphere the moment she had stepped into my room. If only I had told her she was far more important to me than a stupid work! Then Starfire would still be here with me. We'd still be together, happy…

My hands gripped the table in front of me as I slouched forward. The burning rage and the lashing regrets over my indecisions within me slowly faded with each breath I exhaled. As I inhaled, new thoughts formed in my head, thoughts of acceptance, perhaps considered as far as hope. If I could have her back, I wouldn't be here spending my days with regrets over all my counting indecisions. If only I could find her…

Thinking of Starfire had become a constant routine ever since the day she had disappeared. She still haunted my thoughts. My feelings for her still remained. I had continued to search for her even though the others had given up. I couldn't exactly blame them for it. At times I wanted to give up, but I would mentally scold myself for even considering the thought. Starfire is important to me. She was the only one who had opened my heart and showed me what it was like to actually fall in love, to experience true happiness once more. I can't just give up on her. She is too valuable to lose.

I lifted one of my supporting hands into my pocked and fished for my cell phone. I needed to speak with someone, someone who understood me and what I was going through.

With my phone at hand, my finger entered my four digit pass code over the touch screen and immediately pressed on the contact list icon to find their name.

Luckily they answered on the first ring. "Richard?" the dull voice asked.

"Yeah, it's me. Listen, can you meet me at Gotham City at the usual café?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At times, I wish I could take back my actions the moment I had departed the tower. Other times, I am grateful that I had come to such decision. At times, I truly miss their presence, but my actions towards them were utmost hostile and despicable, I am sure my friends will not forgive me for what I had done. I am sure that they would be most happiest that I did not interfere with their life any longer.

At times I was curious as to know if Robin had missed my presence. I had not stopped thinking about him, not even for a second. My feelings for him remained, despite my efforts in attempt to forget him. But it would not be so.

There was not a day in which I had stopped thinking about him. Nor the times we had spent together. I have lacked the warmth he had enveloped me on days we shared warmth. I have yearned for his tender lips that have caused me to feel weak, but pleasurable and joyful. Most of all, I had missed his mere presence. It had become undeniable; these thoughts had only made me wish that we were together once more.

My present day friends had set me up in a blind date, in hopes that I would be able to move on. The first time I had given in, they had set me up with an attractive man with messy brown hair, soft topaz eyes, and fair skin. He towered over me by a good several inches.

The date had been glorious. Every moment with the boy—I believe was named Xavier—I had been visualizing Robin in his place. Xavier had acted so much of him; even at one point I almost believed that it was really him. Even his scruffy, shy voice was replaced by Robin's soft, masculine tone. At the end of the date, he had walked me back to my apartment. With the mirage still in mind, I leaned into him and pressed my lips against his. He responded eagerly, cupping my face in his hands. He had his tongue outline my lips, like Robin had done several times before swirling his tongue into my mouth. My tongue replied by fighting for dominance against his, tasting one another. Something at the back of my head was screaming at me to stop. But my blissful state had refused to take notice of the warning bells. Then I felt my back pressed painfully against my door, the door handle dug into my shoulder blade. I winced in pain, but my imaginary Robin didn't take notice. He started kissing my jaw line, my cheeks, down to my neck and back up, sending strange, shivers down my spine. My lustful eyes settled on the boy before me, the mirage of Robin wavered before disappearing. The pain in my shoulder had brought me back to reality, and I was too late to notice the mistake I had done. I had both my arms in front of my body, pushing the boy back. His appearance was messy from the heated interaction. His eyes were lustful, surprised, and hurt. "I'm sorry I cannot do this," I apologized. Thus that was the end of such an embarrassing, and uneventful date.

With Robin in my mind, I could not possibly move on. I required closure from him in order to move on, yet we did not even discuss about breaking up. I had felt guiltier after what had happened during the date.

But Robin had chose work over us. Was that not enough for closure?

"No, it is not enough."

What will you do if he hurts you once more? my conscience asked.

"I do not know."

And that was it. I do not know how I will react to him. I am torn between wanting him and protecting myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As always, Rachel Roth arrived five minutes early in our meetings. She instantly sat on the empty chair across from me and drank her favorite tea.

"Thanks for the tea. You didn't have to buy it," she thanked.

"Consider it my gratitude for showing up," I smiled meekly.

"Anytime, what are friends for?"

"Garfield is definitely rubbing off on you, huh?" I smirked.

Rachel rolled her eyes, "I swear I don't know what he's doing to me these days."

I chuckled lightly, "How's the kids?"

"A handful, just like their father, but we managed. No sights of our traits passed on to them yet."

"Well that's good. At least they won't destroy the world any time soon," I joked.

"Haha, very funny, Dick," Rachel replied. Despite her sarcasm, the dark haired woman smiled at the joke lightly. Ever since she got together with Beast Boy, Raven was able to control her powers and express more emotions. She had become less serious and more warm-hearted and open. She had more life in her.

After our shared laughs, Rachel brought us straight to the point with her mind reading powers.

It's Starfire again, isn't it Nightwing?

Richard smiled a heart breaking smile. Any signs of her?

"I do miss visiting your children. I can see why it made you happier."

"I'm sure the kids have missed your visits as well," she smiled.

Nightwing, I'm not sure if it's her, so don't jump into any conclusions just yet.

"How 'bout I visit them some time soon?"

How long have you known?

"Any day is fine with me," Rachel began to sip her tea quietly as she stared at the table's intricate design.

Not long. I began to feel her presence some time ago. Even Beast Boy swore that he saw her in Gotham yesterday. Her scent and hair was a dead give away.

Did he get to talk to her? Richard hoped.

No. He lost her in a huge crowd at Night Fall Bar.

Why is he there in the first place? Beast Boy rarely drinks.

He had a meeting there when he spotted her red hair.

We should check it out, tonight. Tell the others, Richard planned.

But what if it's not her, Dick? What will you do?

I won't give up that easily, Raven. She means a lot to me. If you were in her position, Beast Boy would do the same thing.

You're right, Raven smiled warmly as she met his eyes.

"We should go," Rachel said.

I only needed to nod. My heart was pounding in my chest. After half a decade, I was finally able to see her. I needed to straight this out with her once and for all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I never thought I would ever visit a local bar in my life, especially the Night Fall Bar! Robin had warned me that it was never a good place for women. They always ended up being taken advantage by men who paid for their shots. I had done the chickenning out the first time I had attempted.

For the moment, I did not care. I was not afraid. I had only wanted to swim blissfully in a world of peace, even if it were temporary. I wanted to escape the pain and confusing that clouded my mind every day. This was for the closure I required to move on. I cannot stay with Robin when I am constant nuisance in his path.

I had decided to dress up in my most comfortable hip hugging jeans and a plain white halter top. I left my hair alone, rippling like a waterfall down to my thighs. I only carried my cell phone and cash in my pockets. For only tonight I, Korina Anders, will forget about Robin's existence for the time being.

I entered the bar with a brave face of a Tamaranean soldier.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We had been in the bar for some time now, but there was no sign of Starfire anywhere. My hopes began to dim. Maybe it was a mistake. What if Garfield had spotted the wrong girl who happened to have similar scent as she did?

After scanning the crowd to what seemed like the hundredth time, I still couldn't find my scarlet-haired lover.

A huge commotion coming form the left side of the bar had brought my attention towards the direction. The crowd covered the view of the brawlers from my angle.

I jumped into action and pushed through the scene. I was able to peak through a pattern of small crevices through the audience's touching shoulders.

On the right was a boy with matching brown hair and eyes with fair skin. His body was hunched forward as if he was ready to strike. He was saying something to his opponent.

I was caught off guard as I heard a familiar grown emanating from his opponent. It surprised me that the growl had not come from a male, but a female! I managed to push further into the crowd and confirm my assumption. Although I couldn't fully see her, I was able to make out the outline of her appearance and the person she held on to. It was Raven with a fainted red headed girl leaning on her. Her head was bowed forward, covering her face from view.

In that split second, my heart stopped. I just knew it was her. It was my Starfire. I didn't need to see her face to confirm it. I'm not sure how to explain it, but something inside me just told me that it was her.

"You have a lot of nerve to slap me, missy," the boy hissed. He was holding his right cheek, as if confirm thing that he had been slapped. "Two can play in this game!"

Raven at the moment, as well as the rest of the gang were dressed in their public identities attire, as to not stir up attention. Raven was defenseless with a crowd surrounding her. She couldn't escape, let alone stop him with her powers without exploiting her identity.

I tried my best to push further into the ring, but I was unable to reach her. I heard the sound of a muffled slap. I peered over again to see Beast Boy was there to catch his hand in a death grip. Raven had her eyes tightly shut, waiting for the impact when she had heard the slap, but felt no contact across her face. Her eyes fluttered open to meet her husband's back, protecting her.

"Don't you dare lay a finger on my wife!" he growled. Garfield violently threw his hand aside, causing the boy to spin a full 360 after his hand, due to the momentum.

The boy continued to glare at the couple and the girl on the female's shoulder. "Then tell your girl to let go of my girl!" the boy hissed.

My girl?! Last time I checked, she was mine. His sudden outburst of claim had become a motivation to push further into the ring.

I managed to make it in the ring at the nick of time. Before Garfield had a chance to throw a punch at the lunging boy, I gave him a full blow to the side of his head.

"She's mine," I snarled menacingly.

The boy had fallen unconscious on the floor. I glanced at the audience, threatening to knock the living day light out of anyone who dared to take her away from me.

Frightened by my alarming expression, the crowd dissipated, returning to their own business before the fight had broke out. When they were gone, I looked at Raven. She only had to nod. Gingerly, I took the red headed woman from her shoulders and carried her bridal style. Her curtained hair brushed to the back of her head, revealing the face I had constantly dreamed of seeing again.

It was Starfire. I mixture of relief, yearning, and happiness surged through my body. I almost felt my eyes fill with tears, but thanks to Batman's emotional control training, I was able to hold it in.

"Let's go home," I said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once we had reached my apartment, the gang had offered to stay behind and watch after her with me. We were all overwhelmed to see a missing Titan back after her five year disappearance.

I permitted them to stay, although I honestly wished I was able to speak with her alone.

I allowed my fingers to trace the features of her flawless, beautiful face. I had missed the way they felt against my fingers. She had grown to beautiful woman, yet she still had her teenage appearance embedded in her cheeks and facial structure. I cupped her cheek gently and used my thumb to softly graze her cheek.

"There's so much love," Raven commented from my bedroom entrance. "The way you look at her. The way you're touching her. The way you think of her," she continued.

"Sometimes I can't believe that she's here with all of us. I'm scared that I'm dreaming and when I open my eyes, she'd be gone forever," I replied nervously as I looked at the empath.

Raven smiled softly at me. "You love her that much?"

"More than anything in my life."

"You know, Dick," Raven leaned on the door frame behind her, "It's not your fault that Starfire left.

"Of course it was, why else would she leave? I was caught up with my stupid obsession for hunting down Slade," I growled. My focus flicked back to the sweet, angelic face.

"You're obsession couldn't be helped. We saw Slade alive and well after we destroyed Trigon. It was bound to happen. Starfire knew the moment she saw him on my birthday."

I only nodded silently. She had already mentally and physically prepared herself for my sake. But if she had already known, what had caused her to suddenly leave?

"That part was our fault," she answered my thoughts. "Before she went to see you, we had a fight with her."

"As in…?"

"Cyborg, Beast Boy, and I," she replied quietly.

I stared at her with confusion. It was not like them to pick a fight with Starfire.

"What happened?"

"She urged us to help pull you out of your obsession. Just like Starfire, we also knew that you were going to be caught up in your own obsession. We chose not to help her. We knew our efforts would be in vain. Even her efforts would fail. At some point, her pleading help stirred an argument from each of us. She told us that we weren't being good friends. Hurt, Cyborg told her that she was being unreasonable and insensitive about our feelings as well. He explained that it was best that we left you alone until you got out of it yourself. You couldn't always count on Starfire to pull you out. Beast Boy had also sided with Cyborg. What she told us was the first time I have ever heard her say something so, impure. But we knew for a fact that Starfire didn't mean them. We did hurt her."

"What did she say?" I asked.

"That we were selfish creatures. We were narrow-minded and didn't believe in our friendship. She brought up your apprenticeship under Slade, and scolded us for automatically assuming you to be a criminal instead of considering your bad actions to be the cause of him. She called all of us Klorbags."

My eyes widened with surprise. Never in my life had I ever expected such a fight to ever occur within the tower especially between Starfire against Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Raven. And when it happened, all hell broke. But still, it was my fault for ever getting pulled back into my obsession.

For a moment, I thought I spotted Rachel's eyes widened, but I shrugged it off as my imagination.

"There's more isn't there?"

Raven was silent for a couple seconds before answering. "What I told her was the final blow before she left to see you." Raven paused to look at the sleeping princess lying on my bed.

I watched wearily. I knew she was thinking that I will end up yelling at her for her stupid actions. It was only natural that someone needed to be blamed. But I couldn't find it in my heart to do it. Their actions were still linked up to me. The blame was still mine.

"Stop thinking that, Dick. If it was anyone to blame, it has to be me. I told her to take your meal to your room and ask you to take a break. I told her that he would refuse to take her offer. I told her to ask you who was more important. I told her you would choose work rather than your relationship. I told her that her own actions would be in vain. Despite her stubbornness, she still went through it. Her disappearance confirmed that I was right. So if you had anyone to blame, it would be me."

"And me," Cyborg responded from behind.

"And me," Beast Boy followed behind the half robot.

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't just be mad at them. We had all pushed Star to her limit. She had always cared for each of our well being, but I never imagined seeing her hit a point where she could easily break, a point in which she would run away. It must have been hard on her, to hear her friends push her down, to say something hurtful. Of course Starfire would run away, especially with what she had said to them. She wouldn't know how to face them.

"My obsession got the best of me. That time, I wanted to catch Slade so we would finally rest peacefully. I wanted to protect you guys. If anything had happened, I would never forgive myself. That's why I refused to leave my room," I explained, "I guess it was all a misunderstanding."

The two boys nodded grimly. Raven remained staring at Starfire's sleeping body.

"Starfire… did you get all that?" Raven asked.

"Mhmm."

The boys and I mirrored the same surprised look as we glanced back the resting alien princess.

"How much did you hear?" I asked.

"From the moment I felt something touch my face," she replied.

I blushed as I took her hand in mine and gently squeezed it. She squeezed mine back as her eyes slowly fluttered open.

"What were you doing at the bar?" Beast Boy asked.

"I believe my curiosity had captured the best of me," Starfire replied. I noticed she was trying to sit up, but she couldn't find the strength to do so. Gently, I picked her up and allowed her to lean on my shoulders.

"Thank you," she replied, "How did you find me?"

"I saw you the day before when I was waiting for a meeting," Beast Boy replied. "You're hair and scent gave it away."

Starfire's cheeks flushed red. "I believe you have caught my moment of the chickening out. I had attempted the day before, but my fear got the best of me."

"Fear?" Cyborg asked.

Starfire had to only glance at me, to answer their question.

"I had told her about the Night Fall Bar a while back ago. IT was a dangerous bar where women were easily taken advantage by the man who paid for their drinks. I had visited the place before with Batman during a crime investigation. Although I was young, it didn't take a second thought to assume the man was taking his victimized prize. Batman had convinced me not to interfere. The woman had to pay the price for her consequence." I paused to squeeze Starfire's hand. "I'm just glad we were there before anyone took you."

"Speaking of which, who was that man?" Raven asked Starfire.

"Man? What man?" Starfire asked. "All I remember is taking shots before waking up here."

"Girl, what did you order?" Cyborg asked.

"I believed it was a brandy," Starfire replied, one hand clutching her head.

"How many shots did you ask for?" the half robot asked.

Starfire checked her pocket and pulled out several hundred dollar bills. The Titans stared at her surprised to see Starfire carrying a valuable amount of currency.

"I believe $300 worth," she replied after counting the money together.

"Star! You were basically intoxicated!" I exclaimed.

Raven nodded in agreement. "Definitely. You were saying a lot of stuff to me when I found you in the bathroom."

"What have I said?" she asked fearfully.

"Uh, the usual greeting. You said that you had missed me and wished to take back what you had called us."

"Oh…" she sighed in relief. The next second, Starfire stared at Raven with an alarmed expression. "I see," she blushed.

"What else did she say?" I knew the two girls were hiding something from all of us. In honesty, I felt a bit peeved by their secrecy.

"It's best she tells you herself someday. It's not my place to say," Raven replied, her face also glowed a bright red as Starfire's hair.

"Anyways, the dude that Dick knocked out said you were his girl. What's your history with him?" Cyborg asked.

"What did he look like?"

"Fair skin, brown eyes, and hair. Around the same height as Dick," Cyborg motioned towards me.

"You've grown?" Starfire asked.

I had to smirk, "Couldn't let ya stay taller than me forever."

Starfire giggled for a moment before bringing a finger to her lip, her usual thinking pose. "Hmm… I believe you have described Xavier," Starfire answered.

"Who's he?" Cyborg asked.

"I suppose you can call him a set up or blind date? After I had left the tower I had modeled for a career. My model friends had attempted to set me up with a date, in hopes of assisting me move on," she replied guiltily, "I had given in, to their pleading. The result was rather a good experience, but I had ended up rejecting Xavier's courting. I had refused going on such dates since then. I am surprised that Xavier had also appeared at the bar."

"I'm glad we were there on time. I'm definitely sure that you were going to be his victim that night," Beast Boy commented. "You should have seen Dick knock that guy out with one punch! I mean the moment Xavier had called you his, he was already a goner."

"Then I ended up here," she assumed. "That must have been a most difficult night. I apologize for my actions."

"If anyone needed to apologize to you, it would be us," I answered. The other three members nodded in agreement.

"But was it not like you had mentioned earlier? It was a misunderstanding, yet we had gotten ourselves entangled with the problem. I still have yet to apologize to what I had called you… Cyborg, Beast Boy, Raven."

"Already taken cared of," Cyborg answered for the three of them. They exchanges miles to one another."

"We also--"

"Already forgiven," Starfire cut of Cyborg. She giggled sweetly.

Raven took this cute to leave. "We gotta go right now, the kids will be waking up to school soon, Gar."

Starfire stared after the couple with surprise written on her face. "Another time Starfire," Raven smiled. Then she left with her arms linked through her husband's.

"Oh man, it's late already? Karen's gonna kill me! I'll see you guys later!" Cyborg sped out the apartment after the couple. Soon it was just the two of us left.

"Starfire I don't know where to begin," I said honestly. "I suppose it's when Slade had--"

Starfire placed a slender finger on my lips.

"I already knew about your returning obsession, like Raven had explained," Starfire replied.

I took Starfire's hand in mine and began to kiss the hand nearest to my lips. I heard the alien princess gasp from my sudden action. I knew she felt the electricity passing through her, just as I was feeling it with each contact my lips touched her soft skin.

"R-Robin I-I cannot," she shuddered.

Her eyes were filled with longing, love, and lust, but it also held fear. I was a bit surprised to even find a hint of fear in her beautiful emerald eyes.

"I don't want to try again," she said slowly. "I have searched for closure in our relationship for years."

"You can't say you don't love me, Star. Not when your eyes are telling me that you still want to be with me," I said breathlessly. Her words were like a sharp blade that punctured through my heart. It was as if the pain had knocked the air out of my lungs.

I didn't want to lose her again, not when I have her in my arms. I wrapped her tightly against my chest, hoping that her words weren't real.

"Have you fallen in love with Xavier?" I asked despondently. I couldn't help but feel as if Starfire had lied to everyone on purpose, just to save me from embarrassment.

"No. What I have told you all was nothing but the truth. The times with Xavier were most enjoyable." The words slapped at me, pushing the invisible dagger in my chest deeper. "The places we had visited, our conversations…" then Starfire stopped to look at her idling fingers. Her cheeks had warmed themselves into a bright red. "…and the good night kiss."

I felt the pain in my chest rip open. She really did fall in love with him. Why else would she say that she had enjoyed her moments with that Xavier anyway?

"When I was with him, I imagined that it was you. He was very similar to you. Even he had kissed similar to you," Starfire paused to touch my lips with her fingertips. "I was a bit carried away with my fantasies."

Starfire continued to touch my face, outlining my features just as I did to her moments ago.

"When I had realized my wrong doings, I had immediately apologized. I could not move on." Starfire paused to stare at my eyes with the same intense look five years ago. "Because you were always in my thoughts."

My breathing suddenly hitched up. Moments ago, I felt myself falling apart, and now it's as if her words were sewing my broken heart back together.

"I had always wondered what your eyes were like behind your mask. They are a beautiful shade of blue, almost as if they are sapphires." Starfire dropped her gaze to her hands that rested on her lap after she had finished exploring the features of my face. I missed her feather touches along with her warmth almost immediately.

"I do not wish to be with anyone, but you. My feelings tell me to try again, but I am in fear that I will get hurt again. I would not know what to do if this ever happens again," she sighed.

Gently, I took Starfire's chin and pulled it up to meet mine. "In the past half decade, I realized that losing you was the biggest mistake of my life. Despite Batman's emotional blockade training, over those years I found words to finally express my feelings to you." I watched as Starfire's eyes shook with a mix of anxiety and anticipation. "I never stopped searching for you. I can't lose you, Star. You mean so much to me. You hade me see how beautiful life was. You brought back my true happiness, the ones I had never felt since my parents' death. When you were gone, it was painful to live. It was as if I was repeating my past and learning how to cope with my depressing solitude once more."

Starfire's eyes overflowed with tears. It took every ounce of strength to resist kissing them away. Thankfully, my thumbs substituted my lips and brushed them aside. I even felt my own tears fill my eyes.

"I can't promise you that I'll hurt you again, because sometimes we need to get hurt in order to understand and realize some things we never noticed before," I whispered softly.

"I'm scared for choosing the wrong decisions, Robin," she cried.

"Then maybe we could start over, Star," I suggested as I cradled her face gently in my hands. "I don't plan on ever losing you again. Regardless of the times I have hurt you, please give me another chance, Starfire," I begged, "We can start over."

Starfire leaned forwards and pressed our foreheads together as our hands interlaced our fingers. She smiled sweetly despite her tear-strained appearance. She was still so beautiful in my eyes.

"I'm Korina Anders."

"I'm Richard John Grayson."