literature

The Queen's Guardian Ch 1: Temporary Bliss

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They say that Jack Frost appears every winter and nips your nose, some say its true, others blow off the adage.

Well, this guardian certainly did exist.

The snowy haired boy was leaning on his staff idly whilst half-listening in on the conversation of his older colleagues. He didn't want to be here today, he sighed. Despite being a guardian and upholding his promises, Jack still disapprove being summoned in to discuss things like any other grown ups had to do. Organization. That term disgusted him. He preferred spontaneous events, they were always fun.

While North vehemently expressed his excitement for his idea of Christmas along with the Big Five's company, Jack couldn't help but notice a single light located on the neighboring
continent. For some unexplaineable reason, he could sense it from a specific gold dot located in the East mountains that a disturbance was taking place in the season. He could feel it with every strand of hair rising from his neck--an unnatural sensation, one he hasn't felt since Pitch Black's arrival, but with a less threatening aura.

The guardian left the session, silently. He couldn't ignore the strong strong curiosity building inside his head. He didn't bother to excuse himself seeing as how the others were engrossed to plans.

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Sometimes it's still feels like a dream that she can waltz out of her bedroom--her kingdom--and greet the people in the bustling streets of Arendelle. Has it only been a week since her coronation and the inevitable chaos? Definitely, her calendar replied.

Queen Elsa finished gathering her unruly platinum hair to a side French braid before exiting her quarter. The very moment she opened the door, she nearly jumped from fright. The young queen should have expected it, it was so very liker after all.

"Anna!" Elsa scolded.

"She was biting her lower lip to cover her growing smile. She leaned sideways towards her sister, her hands hid behind her back, squeezing and twiddling her fingers as if isolating her energetic excitement in this motion. "Are you ready?" she sang.

Elsa gestured from her head to toe, shortly displaying her usual sheer, crystal blue, snow flaked embedded, off-the-shoulder, calf length dress.

Anna's smile faltered, but her glowing eyes remained unfazed. "Doesn't the cold bother you?"

"Not really," Elsa shrugged, "I've gotten used to it.

"Oh… really? 'Cause I always wondered… but that makes perfectly sense… and yeah…"

Elsa cracked an amused grin, and Anna mirrored the smile before both sisters broke into laughter.

"What a way to break the awkward silence!" Anna giggled.

"Indeed," Elsa added, "So let's go and build that snowman I promised years ago!"

"How about this," Anna suggested softly. As soon as she got her sister to lean in closer to hear what she was saying, Anna broke into a sprint down the corridor, "LAST ONE THERE WILL BE BURRIED IN THE SNOW!"

"Hey!" Elsa exclaimed, "That's unfair, Anna!"

A loud guffaw echoed down the hallway as the younger sibling's response.

"We'll see about that," she muttered. Lifting her dress to slide her right leg through the slit, the queen of Arendelle transformed the palace rugs into a thin glass of ice within at an exponential rate. It was not long before reaching Anna, and led her to her downfall, literally.

"Now who's playing unfair?!" Anna shrieked as she struggled to balance herself against the corridor walls.

It was Elsa's turn to respond with laughter as she glided by her fumbling sister with graceful ease. "You should have known better!"

With a frustrated sigh, an idea suddenly implemented itself in Anna's mind. Light returned to Anna's eyes as she quickly got herself at the middle of the corridor. With as much acceleration as she could muster from pushing her feet off the ice, Anna slid on her stomach across the ice, over took her sister, and screamed back, "Meet you at the door!"

"Anna!" Elsa exclaimed, urgently, "Wait!"

Dejavu. It seemed like history was repeating itself all too soon. Picking up speed, Elsa's feet increased the ice's regeneration varying from thickness to crawling its way on the walls for dear life.

"Slow down!"

Slow down. The ice grew thicker and thicker than the previous one.

"Anna!"

Anna!

Anna slid down the frozen stair case and crashed into the armored statue. With a loud clank, the race ended . Elsa skid to a halt, her breath caught in her throat.

"M'fi--" Several loud clangs later and Anna emerged repeating her condition with laughter. "Looks like I'm the one who's buried!" It was her sister's worried expression that quickly changed the playful mood into an tense one. .Anna quickly stood up, causing her to lose her sense of equilibrium. Elsa was ready to catch her, but Anna managed to retain her sense of balance and stood upright. "Heh… head rush," Anna chuckled, embarrassed. Elsa frozen in place, her mind slowly registering her given state during the passing event. She dropped her hands at lightning speed.

Sensing her sister's urgency, Anna reached out to comfort her, but hesitated. Elsa smiled gratefully and reached for her hand, cupping them in between hers gently. "Thank you," she said earnestly, before dropping their hands. "Can we… do this next time?"

Anna's mouth parted to voice her complaint, but seeing her sister's pleading eyes made her close them. Instead, she answered, "Okay…"

"Thank you," she replied before heading back to the bedroom chambers. "But…" Elsa faced her sister. "You're okay, right?"

"Ah…" she nodded, then smiled sadly, "I'm sorry."

"No, no, that's my fault," Anna interjected, "I'll just go visit Sven and Kristoff for the time being."

"Tell them, I said hi," Elsa replied softly.

"Okay. I will." Just as Anna was turning away to fix the pile of armor, she pounced on her sister for a quick tight hug, a smile and returned back to her pile of work. Elsa was too surprised to react, but as she walked away, returning back to their bedroom quarters to clean up the her share of the chaos, she wore a smile on her face as she worked.

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Outside of the castle, she was immediately greeted by passing villagers and flocked by interrogating children of her usual routinely visits to the North mountain by foot. Because of this, the villagers would often stop Elsa and insistently offer her thick articles of clothing to keep her warm. "What if Jack Frost nips your nose, Queen Elsa?" one of the children asked.

"He won't," Elsa replied, surprised to hear such a nostalgic adage from ages ago. Nevertheless, she was grateful that the were concerned with her well-being. It never did occur to her that her body could withstand and such a frigid weather--it seemed like second nature.

Approaching the ocean, Elsa brought full attention to her powers--to created footprints of lily pads to save as her bridge to the mountains without triggering another external snow or any other harm to the kingdom. She regained confidence when her fist step created the right amount of ice that she needed. Her next foot gave the same amount She transferred her first foot over, and the thin block returned to its liquid place. She sighed with relief and continued her way at a gradual increasing pace. By a third way there, she was already sprinting with ease, and before she knew it, she was already on the North Mountain--how she made it there in such a short time, she'll never know, but all he knew was to get there as fast as possible.

The young queen felt a sense of serene now that she was able to be alone to release some of her powers. She round pleasure manifesting a temporary flurry over the mountain to trust each person as greater lengths. The ground groaned and shook as a tower of ice shout out of the ground. She formed a replica 50 feet away followed by another ice-made kingdom that was similar to her first creation a week ago. Inside the new castle was a large spacious ballroom that could possibly fit all the residents of Arendelle and still have room for a long dining table and a featured live band.

Lost in her own fantasy, Elsa altered her dress into a heart shaped bodice with off-the-shoulder transparent, powder blue sleeves decorated with various patterns of snow fake, and a floor length tiered skirt tat had clustered small snowflakes grouped near crumpled, sewn sites. Her heels remained the same as well as her hair--a side braid over her first shoulder. Next, Elsa created several sculpted human figures to represent her guests. She pictured common scenarios: dukes mingling with other dukes to discuss collaborations and business sites, women gathered nearby the refreshments and condiments sharing juicy gossips, and then here were the couples dancing gracefully, but within one another's company. Last, but not the least, was herself, sitting at the throne with a sore back from sitting straight for too long. What seemed like a desolate castle became an occupied, lively celebration. The statues did what they were programmed to do and Elsa continued how she would usually react during parties: silence and observation.

She imagined a young princes to offer his hand to her and ask for a dance and a handsome sculpture did as he was requested. Elsa fell into a temporary bliss as they took over the center of the ballroom. The queen was passed around during spins to other waiting male figures, dancing to an imaginary tempo inside her head. When she came to a stop with her last partner and finally looked at his face, Elsa jumped back from disbelief. It was a familiar prince with a well built figure and a charming, handsome face. The iris in his round eyes lacked the false, gentle emerald tint, and his perfectly shaped mid-parted hair lacked its auburn sheen. This person was unmistakable.

"Prince Hans," Elsa gasped. How did--no, why did her mind conjure up this manipulative individual?

The Prince did not respond, only stared at her, locked in place with his back bowed and head raised to meet look at her. Despite being an ice creation, she found his gaze unnerving and uncomfortable. She took several steps back, before bumping into a familiar company. Two built guards sneered at Elsa while a duke's head peaked out from behind them.

Panic built up inside of the young queen, causing her to flee the ballroom. She fled to the floor of the gate and was immediately greeted by the person she sought to seek comfort.

"Anna!" she hugged tightly, but quickly sensed something aloof. She retracted to see a frozen figure of her sister smiling back to her, as she was swallowed by another layer of chipping icicles. She retracted immediately, tripping over one of the inner ruffles of the tiered skirt.

"Control it, Elsa," she commanded herself.

A large crack formed between herself and the frozen guests.

"Conceal it…"

Large sharp icicles emerged from the walls, some impaling the guests that were in the way.

"Don't feel it!"

A shattered glass.

"Elsa stop it!"

The ballroom collapsed all around her, destroying her temporary bliss and nightmare.

The cold winds roared over the young queen as she fought for control. It seemed like an eternity had passed before the storm died down. The sun was beginning to set and Elsa was left dazed and disoriented, on the ground. She couldn't return to Arendelle or the states, but she couldn't stay here and cause an uproar of her sudden disappearance either.

Elsa sighed as she stared at the sun kissed skies, contemplating if she should stay a bit longer until she had fully recovered form the trauma. She clamped the palm of her hands over her eyes and sighed. Frustrated tears emerged from the corners of her eyes, but was quickly excused when she felt something land on the tip of her nose. Her manifested flurry was raining droplets of crystals unconsciously. Regardless, her mind focused on the contact between her nose and the crystal… there was something nostalgic about it. She knew very well that her parents had always joked about this adage to Anna and her during the winter, or when Elsa herself crated an indoor snow playground.

Jack Frost might nip your nose.

Was there such a person? She wondered. She stared at the flurry long and hard, before putting an ened to the raining crystals. Elsa sat up then on her feet. She gazed sadly at her ballroom gown one last time before changing it back to her crystal blue, off-the-shoulder, powder blue sleeve, long dress.

An airy whistle from behind brought the queen to her stiff state. She was alone when she arrived, she recalled. Did someone witness her destructive state? Fear held her gaze forward, but her curiosity and the thought of an individual to do such an audacious action gave her the strength to turn around, slowly and hesitantly.

It was not someone she knew at Arendelle, but perhaps a foreigner? He was slim built, had pale skin, an unnatural shade of snowy locks, and a pair of strikingly cerulean eyes. He wore a blue sweater with a frost pattern circling around the collar, brown trousers with tattered and frayed bottom stopping a couple inches above his calf, and he carried a long staff with a G-shaped arch that strongly resembled a shepherd's crook. The strangest of all was exposing his bare feet in the snow.

"Who are you? She asked whilst turning around to fully face him, alarmed.

"Oh?" he hummed in a rich baritone voice, "so you can see me?"

"See you?" she repeated.

"Yup," he answered while approaching her, "usually those who believe in me are able to see me."

"W-wait. Stop. Don't come any closer," Elsa warned, taking several steps back defensively.

"Relax, you won't hurt me." He continued to approach her.

"No, stop! Please." Another step back.

"Trust me, you won't," the mysterious guy replied, then urgently, "Don't take another step--"

Too late to finish his warning, Elsa slipped off the edge of the cliff that once connected to the highest peak. She shrieked and clenched her eyes shut while internally, she wondered if this is how she's supposed to die. A tragic accident--a clumsy one, unfortunately.

suddenly, she landed on something firm, and she was being lifted up, defying gravity. When she opened her eyes, she noticed the G-arched staff to her right and the foreigner on her left. Within seconds, they were back on the mountain.

"H-how!?" she questioned breathlessly.

"Well, it seems I can fly," the boy replied sheepishly while feigning embarrassment by scratching he neck with his free hand after setting the girl down.

"You have a gift too?"

He shrugged. "I guess. For a long time now."

"You don't look--"

"--older? Yeah, not physically. I've been stuck looking 17 for years now. I don't even know how old I really am.  A pregnant silence. "And it seems like you have a gift to manipulate the winter."

A heavy atmosphere fell upon them.

"If you knew, wy didn't you stay away form me? You saw what I'm capable of, right?" Her eyes gleamed with urgecy and desperation at the same time, but also sadness.

He thought hard in silence and answered slowly, "I couldn't… even if I wanted to. You see--" He reached for the young queen's left hand.

"No, don't! I'll hurt you!" she protested frantically.

Ignoring her complaints, the boy's right hand stacked of her left and brought it over his right breast. He left his hand over hers to provide comfort. "It's fine, see?"

"I-I don't understand. You sh-should h-have…"

"This is what I’m trying to say," the boy replied, "I can't leave you, now that I know that there's someone like me." He paused to gently brush a thumb over her hand. "You understand what I'm saying, right?"

Elsa retracted her tingling left hand slowly, looking away and a bit warmer than usual. "I understand," she whispered sadly.

"Oh yeah, did you find out what my name is yet?" he asked, changing the subject to a lighter note. He lift a brow to emphasize his curiosity.

She stared back at him with a mirrored look but with a questioning gaze in her eyes.

"Come on," he challenged playfully, "I gave you the dead give away the moment we met." Another questioning look from the queen. "Well, you're the one who got that piece of snowflake on your nose from that flurry of yours."

"Oh…" she sighed.

Suddenly it all made sense to her. This guy… she never knew he even existed in the first place. She only heard of his tale from folk stories when she was still a child. How long ago did she last hear this tale?

"You're… Jack Frost."

"And we have a winner!" he grinned. "We're late on the introductions, but anyways, it's better late than never." He offered a hand to her.

"Elsa," she answered, and shook his hand firmly.

"Elsa?" she nodded. "So, Elsa--pretty name by the way," Elsa smiled embarrassedly in response, "how about we make a deal right now?"

"What sort of deal do you have in mind?" Elsa inquired.

"We'll train together. Ill help you control your powers."

"What's in it for you?" Elsa asked skeptically.

"Nothing really," Jack responded. Elsa lifted a brow, she didn't buy it. "No I'm serious. There's no catch, but if I had to make one up, it would be to get to know you better. You're… pretty interesting…" Elsa blushed, that was the first time she was ever complimented after being seen during her destructive state. "So what do you think?"

"I…uh…" Elsa folded her hands together, nervously.

"I'm sure we'll be great friends," he smiled, encouragingly. Something about his smile was so contagious that Elsa had to smile back. "So I take it as a yes?"

"Yes," Elsa confirmed, "but how will we see each other again?"

"Easy," he smiled, "where ever there is snow, you'll find me there. You basically summoned me here in the first place."

"What about reverse?"

"Don't worry about that. Just… when ever you feel up to training then cast another flurry and let it land on your nose."

"Does that really call for you?"

"No," Jack chuckled. "It let's believers see me. Just trust me on this. I'll come when you're up for anything."

Elsa eyed him skeptically, second thoughts entering her mind. She became unsure if she should trust his words, but at this point, her morals were jumbled. In the end, she gave him the benefit of doubt. She said nothing more.

"Before I go, do you have some sort of transportation that will escort you back?"

"I prefer to be independent," Elsa answered patiently.

"Wait, you came here by foot?" he exclaimed bewildered.

Elsa smiled and nodded.

"You're kidding! In that attire? Doesn't your feet hurt? You're wearing ice heels, right Geeze, that must hurt a lot."

The platinum blond haired woman shrugged, a smile still plastered on her lips.

"That's insane," Jack Frost commented, his hands combed through his hair to add emphasis. "Okay, I made up my mind."

"What?" Elsa asked.

"I'll take you back myself."

"You don't need to do that for me," the queen complained.

"It'll be faster. And… didn't your parents ever tell you not to be alone at sunset? In a forest especially. There could be wolves around here…" She glared at him, questioning if his motives were meant to offend her or not. "Although I'm sure you can take care of yourself." Her sharp glare went away. "Come on, I'll take you back."

"Jack, there's no need to--"

Jack had cut her off by sweeping her in his arms. "Sorry, princess, but I don't like to keep an argument going when it's not even going anywhere. So hold on tight."

"W-wait I'm not read--eeeee!" Elsa was not mentally prepared by Jack's enormous leaps. It felt both like a horrifying and exhilarating experience. She was literally in the face of death, but her life was held in the hands of this stranger. He could drop her and have her dead in a heart beat, but she gave him her trust. All she could do was close her eyes and grip his neck securely.

Within minutes, they were on the stone bridge towards Arendelle. It took Elsa a good minute or two to find her strength in her legs again. Her reflection in the water also proved a horrendous bad hair day with strays of hair poking out from  random areas.

"So this is where you were born?"

"Yes. This small little town is called Arendelle."

"Interesting," he commented, "mind showing me around sometime?"

"No, I don't mind."

"Well, then, I'll see you next time, Elsa. It was nice to meet you."

"You too, Jack."

With one last glance at the young queen's eyes, Jack flew upwards, hollering, "Hey wind! Take me home!"

And just like that, he vanished with the breeze.
My first Jelsa fanfic and I'm a little scared of how I portrayed them out. I'm not entirely confident of how they act out out, but please give me some feedback about that if I need the improvement! (That will totally help me a lot!)

It's a bit rough around the edges, but I hope the story will build up somehow. I'm just going the the flow lately. And pictures on tumblr are inspiring snippets of scenes. I don't know where I'm heading, but I hope it'll be interesting :'3

I hope you guys enjoy it!

Oh yeah, I officially call their cross over "Rise of the Frozen Hearts" just because they were both emotionally scarred over something and had to overcome it.

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Cover: 
The Queen's Guardian Cover (Updated version) by XxScarletxRosexX

Chapter 2: 
The Queen's Guardian Ch 2: Noise
"Jack! Where have you been? We were looking all over for you!" the Tooth Fairy exclaimed whilst flying towards him.
"Oh yeah, sorry about that," Jack apologized, "I forgot that I had some unfinished business to attend to."
The Tooth Fairy stared at him quizzically but said nothing.
"So anyways, about North's idea bout Christmas? Mind sharing the extra details?"
The Tooth Fairy glowed, "Oh, yes! Well here's basically North's idea--wait do you still remember what we did when we collected the children's teeth? Well anyways, his idea is…"
Jack could practically guess the entire idea by no. Rather than listen to the idea--although it sounded fun and he admits that he liked it--he was focused on something else. Someone he had met less than an hour ago.
He was flabbergasted--who knew that word existed--no, maybe even breath taken. Okay, maybe it was her appearance, but far more than that is the way she used her powers to express herself on those Western mountains. His gut told him that

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(c) Elsa belongs to Disney's "Frozen"
(c) Jack Frost belongs to Dreamwork's "Rise of the Guardians"
(c) The Queen's Guardian created by XxScarletxRosexX
Comments67
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Moonyrox's avatar
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Impact

First off I'd like to say well done! You've achieved the most important thing for writers: interest and entertainment. I'm not a huge fan of the star system, so you'll have to forgive my harshness regarding some of the categories.
In terms of the actual narrative, it's beautiful. A lovely little scene that really captures the mood and sets up the over arching complication. In terms of the scenes individually (I'm gonna go by geographic location - that makes three scenes), I'd say that I'd like some more clarity in the actual situations, particularly the first. Whilst it does serve as a prologue sort of thing, it lacks certain details. You need to state more clearly where Jack is, and why he is there. Additionally, I think further detailing regarding the Big Five would not go unappreciated. You do this well in regards to the "Frozen" side of the story, explaining who Anna is and the implicit positioning of Hans in succinct ways. You should incorporate this in the beginning more, even though it is short.
The second scene, the one with Anna, was quite pleasing in terms of content. However, it too requires a little more detailing for clarity. This is particularly evident in the part in which the two sisters race. You seem to struggle with balancing pacing and describing events, which is understandable, particularly with this sort of subject. Perhaps read some stories which do have that sort of fast pace scene- battles are particularly good. I personally reccomend the scene in HP7 where Harry and Hagrid battle the Death Eaters in the motorcycle, but then again I'm rather partial towards J. K. Rowling.
The last scene was particulary good. I only have a handful of small issues with it, which is rare for me (in case you haven't noticed, I'm rather a nit-picky bitch). Jack's first appearence I feel requires a little more delicacy. Short, softer sentences I think would do well. Try to let them fall after eachother, independent yet adding to the scene, like the gentle fall of the snowflakes that unite the two. Following on from that, I think you need to show Elsa's thought processes when she figures out his identity a little more. Maybe have him show some of his magic, and have her link that act with his words? But this is not desperately necessary, as I think you managed it towards the end of that little section.
Lastly, I think you need to stretch out the cliff bit. It's a major thing, falling off a cliff! It's a great way to show off their budding relationship and opinions of eachother, you need to do it justice. Give it the same flair and excitement you did in the race with Anna! Don't be afraid to be bold, it will contrast well with the delicacy of your characters relationship.
Now, in regards to technique, I think I touched a little bit on that in terms of pacing and sentence structure. Tweaking those will impact your overall readability and engagement. However, one thing I think you do need to revise is your vocabulary: it seems to waver in between casual and academic. Combining words like equilibrium and hollering does not result in a balance, it just makes things slightly disorientating. Determine what sort of language you wish to use, what sort of narrative voice you want, and then go about changing individual words here and there. Remember- often the most pleasing literature to read is pleasing to speak as well! Writing with words you would use everyday will be easier and more natural. Have confidence with your own personal style! The passages where it is evident you are "speaking" naturally are excellent! More of that, please!
The last thing in regards to technique is, of course, grammar and spelling. Just little mistakes here and there, nothing too major. Double and triple checks are never a bad idea.
So! Overall, very well done. A promising premise to a wonderful little story. The concept is excellent, the story-line clear and polished, and characterisation pretty good, if not perfect in respect to the fact that it a small snippet. Just work on your technique a little more, and you'll be well on your way to having a wonderful piece of writing. Keep working on it! I want more!

P.S. Originality is low only because it's a FF. Don't let it deter you.
P.P.S. Well done for reading my bitchiness, I mainly focus on the bad stuff. If I focused on the good stuff we'll be here till next Tuesday!